


Puns and Ships

by Kinkajou710



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: "kid friendly", Angst, Bad Puns, Ever - Freeform, Fluff, Fresh so he can censor stuff lol, Lust's in it so nope lol, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Skeleton Puns, Undertale AU fluff, Undertale aus, Unfinished, alSO PUNS, but who cares, deal with ittttttttt, go to sleeeeeeep KK, if you're still reading this you get a prize, im so tired argh, imma write how i wanna write okkkkkkkk, lol, lots of puns, no nicknames that sound like Lust would use them, oh yeah you can call me KK if you want, ok?, prize not guaranteed, probably wont be finished, puns, sanses speak in all lowercase and that includes slim and stretch, ships, so to sleep KK, still a lot of ships, the name wasn't inspired by the Hamilton song but it sounds like it anyways, too many ships, wait scratch that there can't be too many ships, what have the tags become
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:11:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinkajou710/pseuds/Kinkajou710
Summary: In which a lot of Sanses (or the Sans figures or whatever, like US Pap*) meet each other in the void and ships ensue.Updates: Chapters update when I update them. Anyways, short chapters cuz I'm lazy and don't feel like doing long ones.*Ooh! It's technically the Judges/Sanses, there we go.





	1. Teleportation Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so some stuff first:  
> \- All of the sanses/papyruses know they're AUs of UT  
> \- Time froze or something while they were gone so everyone else is frozen while they were in the void or whatever  
> \- All the ships!  
> \- But no sex scenes  
> \- This is not a lemon  
> \- No f-bombs  
> \- Minimal swearing  
> \- I wanna keep this thing appropriate for younger UT fans  
> \- By younger I mean teens lol  
> \- Also Gaster is there and he's basically insane because of isolation and stuff  
> \- I'm a huge nerd (and geek) so REFERENCES EVERYWHERE  
> \- This is my first fanfic plz have mercy in the comments

(I'm lazy so nothing happens in the fic until this part so there. :P)

* * *

 

A sickening crack sounded across the void, and fifteen skeleton monsters were suddenly floating around in there

No one knew what was going on.

The aforementioned floating continued for some time before someone spoke up.

"so uh, what just happened?"

Everyone's attention shifted to the short-looking, slightly chubby skeleton monster in a blue, zip-up hoodie who had just spoken.

Another the skeleton, this one with a large brown scarf and equally large paintbrush answered. "dunno, magic?"

Yet another spoke. "Yes, that would seem to be the most reasonable explanation. However, what type of magic? What exactly caused this to happen? It was most likely magic, but what strange phenomena mad this happen?" This one was wearing a lab coat and glasses, and seemed to be taking notes on a small notepad.

"yo, that sounds exactly like something my younger self would say!" Said two voices in unison. Two owners of the voices looked at each other with astonishment. "wait, what?" The same hoddie-wearing skeleton and a new one that would've looked like him if not for... everything happened to be those skeletons.

The lab coat-clad skeleton looked at them as well. "I'm assuming you're both older versions of me. Strange. How did this happen?"

One of them sighed.

"hey, well, first of all, this is the void and we're probably here because of teleportation or something. second, i'm outta here." A black skeleton that looked like nothing less than a glitch was the source of this comment, and he snapped his fingers to shortcut out of there, as he'd said. However, it didn't work. "What the *FUNK*? And also, what the ACTUAL *FUNK*? WHY CAN'T I SWEAR IN ANGER?! *FUNK* THIS!"

"Yo, my radical broseph, language like that ain't cool! Watch that profanity, bro!" Warned yet another skeleton, this one in a weird-looking pink, blue, and green hoodie with a purple shirt. "I had to censor that unrad stuff."

"*FUNK* YOU!"

A taller skeleton in an orange hoodie cleared his throat. "ey, maybe instead of swearing and stuff we could try to figure out what's going on? let's start by introducing ourselves. i'll go first; i'm Papyrus. there, now you go." he said, nodding towards the shorter one with the blue hoodie.

"i'm sans." Everyone had somehow floated into a circular shape by now.

The skeleton with the paintbrush was next. "so, i'm sans too."

The glitched one after that, "sans."

And so forth with all of them. There were thirteen Sanses and two Papyruses.

There was quite a lot of floating and blinking.

"so, uh." Said a skeleton with a black hoodie and red sweater, "nicknames?"

"sure." Was the overall response from the crowd.

Nicknames were brainstormed and then decided on. The Sanses; the one with the blue hoodie and slippers was Comic, the one with the paintbrush was Ink, the glitch was Error, the Sans with a starry sweatshirt was Outer, the black hoodie and red sweater was Red, a skeleton with a golden cape was dream, his brother, (a skeleton of black goop) was Nightmare, the younger one in the lab coat was Science (or Sci for short), the older Sans with the red-orange scarf was Geno, the 70s nightmare was Fresh, a skeleton wearing a purple and blue hoodie with a black crop-top was Lust, someone in a black robe with a scythe was Reaper, and another Sans clad in a similar blue hoodie to Classic, but wearing sneakers, was Dance. The two Papyruses; The Pap in the orange hoodie was Stretch, and the one clad in red and black was Slim.

* * *

Somewhere off in the far edges of the void, a goopy skeleton watched with interest.


	2. Ink Paints a House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (See Chapter Title)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMIGOSH SORRY IT'S SO LATE I've been really busy lately with auditions for my school musical and other assorted musical theatre stuff and therefore I've been procrastinating for like TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I'm sorry guys. (If any of you are actually reading this, lol. besides you, Samantha. I literally shoved this computer in your face and told you to read, of course you read it.)

(Sorry for my terrible chapter introduction skills)

* * *

 

Everyone was currently gathered in a circular shape, floating.

They had been like this for the last couple hours, sharing stories of their universes. It had been concluded very soon that all of the Skeletons were just different versions of the same one, who they had figured out/agreed was Comic. Ink and Error were describing one of their most "rad", as Fresh described it, battles when someone burst out:

"i'm *funk*ing tired of floating!" This came from Outer. Fresh blinked, having had barely any time to censor that before he realized it came out.

Stretch shrugged. "uh, dude. you literally live in outer space. thus the nickname..."

Outer waved his arms around frantically. "exactly! i, the space guy, am tired. of. floating. THAT should say something!"

"it does." Nightmare agreed/grumbled. "it says that we need to something NOW, before i literally morph myself into a house."

"hey, good idea!" This from Dream. "maybe that'll quiet you down for a bit so we can enjoy some peace and quiet!"

Nightmare stared at him.

"oh, that was SCARCASM! i COULDN'T TELL!" Dream stared right back.

Ink floated between the two of them having a stare-off. "or,  **i** could just paint a house? like, with my magic paintbrush? or did you forget about that?" he quickly whipped his giant paintbrush off his back, swept a very long line of paint across the void, and with a snap of his fingers, it was a very long grassy field. He floated himself onto it and was suddenly walking around normally, without all the antigravity of the void. Outer's eyes literally lit up.

"did you just..." He blinked. "you did?!" he happily floated onto the very long grassy field and lay down.

"soooo?" Ink asked. "you guys gonna let me paint a house?"

Reaper turned and stared him right in the face. "dude, the God of Death - me - is telling you to do it right now. do. it." He grinned. "i’m DEAD serious."

Ink did it.

After quite a long time of painting, Ink was done. It was three-story house made of pure ink, but as soon as Ink snapped his fingers, it was suddenly a house of wood, not ink. Sci let out a sigh of relief.

Dream literally flew into the air and floated through the door with excitement.

"so, Dream likes it. you guys?" Ink inquired.

"how many rooms?" Lust asked. He winked.

Ink sighed. "one for each of us. that's why it's three stories."

"aww..."

"shut your face, Lust." Geno commanded. "now is not the time for sex jokes."

Dance was doing the moonwalk into the house. "nice job, Ink."

The next couple hours were spent complimenting Ink on the house. Except for Lust. He kept complaining about the number of rooms.

* * *

The goopy figure was very interested now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter looks different from the first one, that's cuz I used Rich Text instead of HTML this time, lol. I'll go back and change Ch. 1.


	3. A Wild Errink Appears! (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember the ships from the title?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!  
> Sorry guys, I don’t write lemons. I apologize in advance. *grins*

A gasp came from the kitchen. "ink! you painted actual FOOD in the refrigerator?! and it's not just spaghetti!" Sci exclaimed. "more than just spaghetti..."

Stretch, who was also in the kitchen (downing a bottle of honey), chimed in as well. "my bro only makes spaghetti, and im too lazy to make anything else." He chuckled. "apparently, ink isn't."

Red was in the kitchen as well. "ink's clock says it's like ten at night. imma go to bed." He waltzed up the stairs, claimed and walked into a room, and promptly shut and locked the door.

Sci, Outer, and Dance all claimed rooms as well.

"my room!" shouted two voices simultaneously. "i got it first!" Was what came next, from both voices.

The nine other skeletons who weren't already asleep or the two arguing paraded up the stairs. The two arguing turned out to be Error and Ink.

"i got here first!" Error demanded.

"i made this entire house!" Ink responded.

"so you can make your own room!" Error pointed out.

Ink sighed. "but i want this one!"

"i got here first!" Error repeated.

"no, i did!" Said an exasperated Ink.

Fresh walked between the two, who looked like they were about to launch into another war. "yo, my dudes, this is not a rad way to end the night! just... share the room, okay?"

There was a large amount of glaring going on between Error and Ink. Finally, they agreed. Nonverbally, by walking in together and shutting the door.

Lust squealed.

"shut up, lust." Reaper commanded.

Lust shut up.

"so, i'm goin to bed." Comic announced. "i'm BONE tired."

"agreed." Said Slim. "i did a skeleTON of work today. work being watching napstabot reruns on the TV." He snickered.

A chorus of "good night" rings in that hallway to this day.

* * *

 

(The next morning)

All but four of the fifteen skeletons were gathered at the very large table for breakfast. Dream entered from the kitchen carrying a very large amount of pancakes on a fairly big plate, with a grumpy-looking Nightmare behind him carrying a wide selection of toppings in the goopy tentacle/limb things protruding from his back.

"i still don't see why  _i_ had to carry all of these in." mumbled an annoyed Nightmare.

Dream sighed. "because you're my brother! and because you can carry the most condiments at a time." He explained.

"... solid reasoning." Nightmare responded, obviously defeated.

Now they were only missing two.

"hey, someone should go get ink and error." Geno suggested.

"i will~" Lust volunteered.

Geno began to protest, but thought better of it. "y'know, sure," he agreed. "why not?"

Lust bounded up the stairs to get Ink and Error. He knocked on the door twice, with no response. Internally squealing already, he entered quietly. What he found inside almost made him actually squeal.

Ink and Error were cuddling.

Yes, cuddling. Given there was only one bed in each room, it made sense that they were sleeping together. But, as Lust thought,  _cuddling_! The protector of worlds and destroyer of worlds, CUDDLING!

Lust calculated in what ways he could wake them up and which one was least likely to get him killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, you might’ve noticed by now that fifteen characters is a lot. I noticed too. Don’t worry, I’m not getting rid of any characters. Instead, most of the next chapters will be dealing with a smaller selection of the fifteen at a time, so that I can actually give each character their time to shine. Sorry if I've disappointed you.  
> Also for some reason when I view this chapter it shows the end notes for Ch. 1 along with the notes for this chapter and I can't seem to fix it. *shrug* IDK if it's fixed or not yet, so if the Ch. 1 notes aren't there when I post this, yay!  
> ALSO! So this chapter is turning out to be really long and I don't want to keep you guys waiting so I'll post this now and post the rest in a few days. Sorry for the cliffhanger! But hey, at least I got some "Puns and Ships" in this little half-chapter!  
> (The goopy guy hasn't appeared yet because this is only Part 1)


	4. A Wild Errink Appears! (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is really late... like, two weeks late... BUT THAT'S OKAY! BECAUSE AT LEAST I POSTED IT! AHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHhahhAHHAHAHhahhHhAHAHHhAhahahahahhahahahahhaha  
> My excuse is Finals, in case you were wondering. And all of my posts will probably late from now on, so... uh. I have rehearsal for my school musical Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and another theatre thing on Tuesdays, so I've got a pretty busy schedule. But chapters WILL be posted! And I have an emergency plan for in case in need to end the fic because of my terrible time management. But hopefully that won't happen. Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lust ships stuff. No puns this chapter, they're being serious.

Previously on Puns and Ships:

Lust calculated in what ways he could wake them up and which one was least likely to get him killed.

* * *

It took a while, but he eventually decided that he had a fairly high chance of being killed however he woke them up, so he concluded that he would NOT use magic, NOT squeal, and NOT tease them... yet. He made a bit of noise while walking over to them, and proceeded to poke Ink lightly, figuring that he was less likely to kill him than Error. Ink stirred a bit, but showed no signs of being awake. Lust poked him again, this time harder. Ink grunted and blinked awake.

Then he noticed that he was cuddling Error.

Then he noticed Lust.

He... noised. There is no other word for it. He made a noise of surprise, it woke Error up, and you can probably guess what happened next. Error was not happy about realizing that he was cuddling Ink, and less happy when he realized that Lust was there. By now, Lust had backed away and Ink was still on the bed.

(And yes, they were still wearing clothes, now shut up you guys.)

Error turned on him. "LUST, WHAT THE ACTUAL *FUNK* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING IN HERE?!" His face was flushed with magic, somehow making him look even more angry, though in other circumstances Lust might say it made him look cute.

"uh- well- food?" Lust stammered, backing as far away as he possibly could while still being in the room.

Ink perked up. "food?! i like food! what kind of food?"

"p- pancakes."

Ink's face lit up.

Error looked less angry. "huh. i like pancakes. fine, i'll come down." Lust let out a sigh of relief. "but if you tell ANYONE what you saw, i will actually string you up by your SOUL!" Lust nodded, still looking mortified and scared, but the beginnings of a sly grin crossed his face when Error turned away. Ink noticed and gave him a thumbs-down, but Lust replied with a thumbs-up before leaving and heading back towards the kitchen, followed closely behind by Ink and Error.

Fresh was first to notice them. "hey, my radical brosephs! error, you gotta calm down a bit, i could hear you from all the way down here! at least, i heard the f-bomb. not cool, dude."

Error glared at him.

Fresh grinned back.

Dream interrupted their weird staring contest. "pancakes! they are not here for decoration. eat them!" He commanded. Everyone obeyed. (How surprising.)

"hey guuuuuuuys~" Lust began.

"NO." Error said, staring him down like a hawk.

Lust continued anyways. "guess what i saw ink and error doing when i walked iiiiiiiiin~"

"NO." Error commanded, staring even harder.

"they were cuddliiiiiiiiing~"

Error leaped out of his chair and strung Lust up by his SOUL, attaching him to the ceiling and hanging him upside-down.

"hey! it's not like you were having- mmph!" Error had wrapped some string around Lust's mouth, preventing him from finishing his sentence.

"i TOLD you i'd string you up by your SOUL. it's entirely your fault." Error said in an attempt to justify himself. Most of the others by now were gaping at them in surprise.

Ink padded up to Error and poked him on the shoulder. he turned around, startled. "uh, error? probably not the best idea to be stringing people up in this place, we have no idea what could happen. you could kill someone!"

"so? he's annoying." Error responded, shrugging him off.

Ink giggled. "oh my gosh, error, that's not an excuse."

"it is."

"not a good one."

"fine."

Error let go of the string on Lust with a sigh, resulting in a surprised grunt from Lust. Everyone who wasn't already gaping before was now and the rest of breakfast was spent in silence.

But, at the end of breakfast, Lust muttered an almost unheard; "i ship it~", and this resulted in a fuming Error.

* * *

The goopy guy decided that the other skeletons were trespassing and should be reasoned with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some stuff  
> \- I ship it so hard omg  
> \- Next ship will definitely be Geno/Reaper  
> \- Ink is a marshmallow  
> \- Reminder: No lemons  
> \- The goopy guy is back! :D  
> \- Lust is voicing my inner "I SHIP IT" all the time


	5. Secret Uno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...  
> Life happened.  
> And I honestly didn’t care.  
> Sorry.  
> BUT!  
> Will you forgive me if I give you...  
> A ship?!  
> (Probably not)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I greatly appreciate all of your comments and kudos! Kudos remind me that people actually read this, and comments remind me that people are waiting for the next chapter!  
> AND SOMEHOW I HAVE FOUR BOOKMARKS WH-

"THAT'S A F*CKING FASCIST POLICY! I F*CKING GAVE YOU A CHOICE! F*CKING FASCIST!" Error yelled, almost flipping the table over. He would have if not for Nightmare nearly strangling him.

"you actually gave me two fascist policies, error." Geno said, his face expressing both seriousness and betrayal at the same time.

The six edgelords had been playing [ Secret Hitler ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Hitler#Gameplay), a secret identity game, for the past hour and a half. (Notice the hyperlink.)

"i drew two fascists and a liberal, discarded a fascist, and handed you a fascist and a liberal. you played a fascist!" Error was almost literally steaming by now, an angry blush covering his face. His face was more yellow than glitchy black by now. He grumbled and sank back into his seat at the kitchen table. The other nine skeletons were out doing various activities; Ink, Dance, Sci, Fresh, and Dream were watching Mettaton reruns on the TV, outside, on the opposite side of the house from where the edgelords were playing. The rest of them were playing Cards Against Humanity upstairs.

Geno passed the Presidency to Reaper, the monster to the left of him. To the left of Reaper was Red, then Error, then Nightmare, then Slim, and then back to Geno.

By the time the game ended, Fresh had come in a begun censoring every f-bomb, because he decided that censoring everything would have been a waste of time, and he didn’t have that kind of patience. (Or because I’m lazy lol) Instead, he invited Dance and they had a fun time eating popcorn and watching the players get increasingly mad at each other.

The end of the game arrived, and tensions were high as everyone that hadn't been killed off revealed their affiliation.

"*funk*ING FASCIST! GO *funk* YOURSELF, LIAR!" Error screamed at Geno after he had revealed that he was, indeed, a fascist. Geno smirked and held up his hands in mock defeat, as the fascists had won the game by one card. Geno and Reaper shared a high-five, as the two winning fascists of the game.

"i'd better remember that you make a good hitler, reaper." Geno said.

Reapers grinned and high-fived Geno. "we sure got 'em good."

Error, however, was not happy about his loss. "I'M GOING TO *funk*ING BED! GOOD *funk*ING NIGHT!" He exclaimed, storming out of the room.

"error." Red called. Error looked at him. "it’s two p.m."

Error glared at him. "does it look like i care." It wasn’t a question.

Red threw his hands up. "nope. nah. not at all."

"*funk*ING GOOD!" Error shortcut to his and Ink’s room and, just to prove his point, opened and promptly slammed the door, rattling some walls in the house.

Everyone sort of just stared at each other for a bit, no one saying anything. After a long amount of uncomfortable silence, Slim got up. "i’ll be in my room. bye."

"adios, amigos." Nightmare said. "gonna go watch mtt reruns. nothing better to do."

"rad idea, broski! dance’ll come along too, right pal?" You can probably guess who said that line, so i'll just not say because I’m too lazy to come up with a synonym for "said".

Red got up and, without a word, went into the kitchen. (A few hours later, he would be found next to three empty bottles of mustard, asleep.)

Geno looked at Reaper. "wanna play uno?"

Reaper grinned. "you’re on!"

 

~~~A few hours later~~~

 

Reaper was occupying an entire bean bag, while Geno was on the floor. It was their thirty-seventh game of Uno, and the score so far was twenty-five to twelve, in Reaper’s favor.

"uno!" Reaper exclaimed, throwing down a Draw 4 on Geno.

Geno angrily grabbed the top four cards on the deck and played a card from his large hand. "HOW THE F*CK DO YOU KEEP WINNING ALL THE TIME?"

"actually, i haven’t won yet." Reaper pointed out. He played his last card, a blue four. "now i have. twenty-six to twelve. rematch?"

Geno glared at him. "i’ll quit while i’m behind, thank you very much. can’t believe i ever trusted you enough to play alongside you in secret hitler."

Reaper chuckled. "pfft. you don’t even choose your teams in that game."

"don’t care. good night." Geno dragged himself to the bean bag. "off."

Reaper raised an eyebrow (Brow bone? Eyebone? idk) "no."

Geno shoved him. "yes."

Reaper got back on. "no."

Geno, fuming, decided to just sit on Reaper. Reaper, stunned, let him, and they fell asleep together on the bean bag.

 

~~~Many hours later~~~

 

Geno and Reaper woke up to a parade of Lust, Fresh, Dream, and Ink banging large metal sporks together and screaming "WE SHIP IT" at the tops of their nonexistent lungs. Geno fell off of Reaper and started yelling at the others.

"HE WOULDN’T GIVE ME THE BEAN BAG, OKAY? HE MADE ME SHARE IT!"

"falsehood. he sat on me when i wouldn’t give it to him." Reaper protested, still half asleep.

Lust squealed. "sounds like something else we’ve seen happen recently, huh?" He turned to the others, looking for approval.

"sounds like another time that two rad bros had to share their sleeping quarters, yo!" Fresh chimed in.

"shut up." Reaper mumbled. He looked up. "where did you get the sporks?"

They all pointed at Ink. He shrugged. "i felt like it. sporks are the superior utensil anyways. i put them in all of the utensil drawers in the kitchen, along with some spives. and we obviously needed large ones for banging. found the right time to use them today." Geno and Reaper stared at him. "anyways, want some bacon?" He asked.

Geno leaped off of the ground. "HELL YEAH!" He shortcut to the kitchen, located the bacon, and inhaled an entire pan of it before anyone else knew what was happening.

Ink collected the rest of the skeletons and they all ate a skeleTON of bacon. :)))

* * *

The goopy guy was getting quite tired of the skeleton's antics by now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing for Fresh. He says stuff like “rad” and “broski” and is totally a great character to write for. Also, *funk* is hilarious to see in the middle of a sentence  
> Note: You can print Secret Hitler off online for free! (At https://secrethitler.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> So! The first chapter! It's finished! We have some nicknames (the generally accepted fandom nicknames) and a goopy guy off in the corner. The next chapter will be much more eventful, I swear. Try to guess who goop man is. Also, why the *FUNK* did I write such a long sentence there at the end? That's thirteen Sans nicknames in one extremely long sentence. My English teacher would be disappointed.


End file.
